Research, establishing, maintaining and deepening an intimate and stable relationship with a partner hold a place of prime importance in the life of Most people, like that of other nurses.
Take time to take stock of your situation! It is highly recommended to answer the questionnaire honestly and taking the time to help you live your emotions.
Clearly define a problem is already having a better grip on him. Interactional rules lose their power and their strength after updates, because they can be questioned.
Your partner is invited to respond on his side. Then proceed to a pooling of responses and sharing your reactions.
There is no "right" answers. Everyone must have his own perceptions. Everyone is an expert in his experience, his emotional world.
1. Couple formation
How did you first met? What had attracted you to this point? What you liked?
Of all the people around you, what brought you to marry (or live with) this person? What exactly you like it?
The expression of the first links usually evokes a reconciliation of the couple and provides information on the mutual needs which led to the creation of the couple. Some people respond to these difficult questions, merely saying "I loved him." It is important to specify exactly what you like.
Example: What physical trait? What quality? What "cute default? What behavior?
Once everyone has spoken, it is pertinent to ask: Is it always present?
It is not uncommon for couples hate it for the reasons that led them to choose.
Example: A wife who was so alive and full of energy is seen as an "edgy" unbearable. The husband who was so sure of himself and who always seemed to know where he was perceived as a dictator who thinks he always right.
2. Wish
How would you like things happen between you? What do you want to live in your marriage?
The expression of wishes rather than dissatisfaction raises hopes and avoid hurtful. This creates a common project around which partners can meet. This clearly indicates the partner desired behaviors. Instead of saying what he should do, let him guess what he needs to do.
Example: Do not say: Stop to watch television all the time. Say I want you to talk with me more often.
Some people know what they want, having realized that what hurts. It then becomes useful to identify dissatisfaction and direct them to a positive demand for change.
3. Current situation
- What's it like to live in your marriage?
- What's that you're still together after "X" time?
- What are the unmet needs?
4. Symbol
How would you describe your relationship? Do you have pictures about that? If your marriage was a road, what kind of road would it be? What kind of house would it be? What kind of vehicle? What other symbol could represent your relationship?
For some people, the symbolic expression used to express and explore more deeply their experiences as a couple.
Example: a house closed, isolated environment of a hospital, a highway right where it was on full speed, a road where there are plenty of curves and mountains, a pair of slippers.
5. Dissatisfaction
If you had a magic wand, what would you change in your marriage? What that hurts? What expectations from those you had at the time of formation of the couple have not been met?
6. Future
How do you imagine your life together in one, five or ten years? How do you see yourself in five or ten years?
7. Rules governing emotions
What you do with the trouble in your marriage? What do you do when you? Commits does your partner? What he does when he has trouble? How do you react?
can ask the same questions, replacing the sentence with anger or joy. Is it permissible
to openly express his emotions in your relationship? Is it also allowed for each partner?
These questions highlight what can be experienced by implication as to the expression of emotions.
8. Expressing satisfaction
Do you know if the other appreciates your presence or what you do? How does he know? How do you know? Must you ask? Should he ask? How do you react when you congratulate the other? Do you ever happen to congratulate him?
9. Negotiation
What happens when you are disagree? How it ends there, usually? Do you ever happen to you play? How it started there? How it ends there?
10. Differentiation
What do you like? (Tastes, needs, training, interests, etc.).. How are you different? Do you have time just for you (individually)?
11. Social Life
you going out? Do you have personal friends? Everyone you see they are friends of the couple? What relationship do you have with the family (yours and spouse)? Do you have enough time to be together face-to-head?
12. Self-image
What do you think of yourself as a partner? Why your partner does he live with you? What did he (she) loves you specifically? Could you live alone (e)? Could you find another partner if you wanted? Would it be worthwhile to live only for you?
13. Roles
Most of the time:
- Who is responsible for meals? How it decides there?
- Who is responsible for repair (or repair) the car, home, furniture, electrical appliances?
- Who buys the clothes?
- Who looks after the finances (budget, taxes)?
- Who handles garbage?
- Who cleans and clean the house?
- Who is organizing the free time, suggests or selects the outputs and activities?
- Who looks after children's education?
- Who initiates the conversations?
- Who initiates reconciliation after an argument? How does he (she)?
- Who usually initiates sex? How does he (she)?
- Who usually the other console?
- who usually criticizes the other?
there any desirable changes in these roles?
14. Exploring taboos
How would you react if your partner:
- once you hit?
- had a sexual relationship with another person?
- loved another person?
- left you?
- drinking to excess?
How do you feel now when you think each of these situations?
15. Involvement
What you're willing to do to make it get better in your marriage?
16. Hypothetical reproaches
If you were angry against your partner, it would be about what? What others do you Instead, blaming your partner?
Some people come not to feel outrage or anger and desensitize themselves to better withstand the unbearable. A reflection on what might get angry and taken away through the eyes of another can facilitate questioning.
17. Secrets
What are the secrets that you do not want your partner to know? How would he react if he learned? What is it you would react to see this? What effect does this have on your relationship than to keep this secret?
reflection on this theme only allows the person discover the catastrophic fears, and possibly unrealistic, it maintains about his secret. It can also discover the price she pays the secret (emotional distance). Finally, note that many people keep secrets under the guise of protecting the other, when in reality they protect themselves.
What I might have to tell him that I dare not tell her or I have not had the opportunity to tell him?
Once the secret well identified, the person has more power over him. The choice of what she wants to do about it deserves.
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