1-Know your partner
His pleasures, preferences, what irritates him, his fears, his sources of stress, goals, concerns, hopes , desires, beliefs, fears.
2-Feed your appreciation and admiration.
Remember what you admire in another, what you find interesting, what would you miss if it was not there, what you enjoy, what you are proud. Express it. Celebrate it.
Remember your good times, your values and beliefs, your goals, the support that you give yourself, your first meeting.
3-Spend time together.
Stay connected. Discussions, activities, tasks, hobbies, pleasures, be helpful. A conversation
anti-stress: Each turn
Do not give unsolicited advice.
Demonstrate a genuine interest.
Communicate your understanding.
Take part for your partner (at first, even to qualify your position later.) Express your
part of a team "Us against the others."
express affection.
Validate feelings: I see your emotions, and they touch me, they are important to me, I am interested to understand them and I'm looking for you.
4-Let your partner influence you.
It is important to communicate her partner to be respected. Power sharing is an important component of marital satisfaction. Your partner can tell you how he wants to be loved. It is better to keep it regularly informed of the views of his partner. Look for the reasonable request that lurks in the position of your partner.
5-Solve problems you can solve.
sure to start the conversation smoothly. The discussions often end in the same tone that they started. Give your partner a chance to repair his mistakes. Cooperate with its efforts to deliver on track the conversation that strays into dangerous areas. Find a comfortable physical condition before embarking on the important discussions. Search for compromise and show tolerance for your mistakes and take.
Take care to listen. Argue without understanding is not effective.
Express what you live without blame.
Talk to you (I).
Describe the facts.
Be clear.
Be polite.
Express what you love.
Do not stockpile frustrations.
Ask yourself:
How can one understand this?
What do you get?
What are your feelings now common and feelings are most important?
What common goals can you have now?
How do we believe that these goals should be achieved?
Remember to build your project together as a couple, what matters is not whether, in absolute terms, what you are doing is statistically justified. What matters is your perception and your subjective personal opinion: is it satisfactory to each of you? Each pair comes in different arrangements. The important thing is that every member of the couple believes that the balance is satisfactory.
6-break deadlocks on issues unsolvable.
Most marital conflicts (69%) were chronic (frequency of sexual intercourse, sharing of tasks, the religious education of children, the educational attitude towards children). You do not resolve these conflicts to be happily married. In choosing a partner, you choose a series of intractable problems with which you'll have to fend for ten, twenty or fifty years. You can live with these problems. Search
significant personal dreams behind those stalemates and know what y. Dreaming different things. The dream of your partner must be expressed and acknowledged. (Freedom, peace, unity with nature, which I explore, adventure, a spiritual journey, justice, honor, continuity with its past, to heal, to know his family, become what I can be, the feeling of power, age, explore their creativity, competence, forgiveness, competence, order, productivity, clarify priorities, finish what matters explore physical activity, travel, compete and win the peace, harmony, build what is important to make a bereavement)
Do not try to solve an intractable problem. Just try to understand why each of you has such strong feelings about it. You still want two that is no longer a source of pain. Accept the differences. Make peace with insoluble problems.
7-Share of significant moments.
Create opportunities to talk honestly about your feelings and your beliefs. (Arrival and departure, greeting, meal times, parties, sleeping, weekends, birthdays, holidays, illness).
Most people look for in a couple's life interactions frequent and non-confrontational in a relational context marked by the exchange and mutual support.
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